#4 has a donation box in her office that’s collecting items for children in foster homes. She thought it would be a good way to help her children, M (7) and A (5), learn about giving to those who don’t have families during the holidays. She explained to them what it meant to be in a foster home. She told them we were going to go shopping for other people. Then, we would go donate those items.
When we got into the car, I announced I was going to be shopping for a teenager. The two little faces scrunched up in confusion and asked me why. “Like Mommy said, not everyone has their family during the holiday and often people by toys for smaller people and I want to be sure a teenager got something they like.”, I said.
I could tell they still weren’t sure.
We tumbled out of the car and headed to the store. “M” headed straight for the holiday decorations and sparkly things. We suggested she choose something that a kid can play with all year long. She seemed to see the logic in that and moved on. “A” continued to discuss how he wanted to get a “Jurassic Park” toy as that’s his current focus. They rapidly snatched up items that interested them. That was fine. Then they came to their mother and said, “I want this for Christmas. Can we take a picture for Santa?”
I’m of two minds here. I love that they were willing to wait. They used a photo as a reminder of what they wanted. Yet, they didn’t quite get the point that they were buying items for OTHER people. To them, these people were a phantom. I understand we discussed looking for items they like. So, it seems reasonable that they heard “things you like”. Still, they didn’t really say anything such as, “I really like this and would love it for Christmas.” They didn’t suggest that it would be a good gift for someone else, either! Maybe they just aren’t capable of getting there yet.
Mom was losing her mind. She had hoped this trip would create some warm fuzzies. She wanted the kids to understand the value of generosity. The need to constantly redirect focus and edit choices was a little overwhelming for her. Still, she was trying to make this all work. We did end up with quite a few items in the basket. I found a Wicked T-shirt and some socks, a sketch pad and a sketch kit. I wanted to look further, but my shopping style isn’t as quick as the kids, so I was fine with what I got. We checked out, loaded the car and had to tell “A” that the marble run game he chose was not for him about 20 times.
When we got to her office to drop the items off, the kids went straight for the snack box after helping us haul in all the goodies. Mom wanted a few photos of the kids adding items to the box to mark the occasion. Here you can see the temperature of the event.
They may have gotten the point, but it was hard for them to understand that this was not a shopping trip to curate the gifts they wanted. It’s a start, and that’s a win as far as I am concerned.
The next day, I had errands to run. I was headed into a store at the same time an elderly, stooped and slow gentleman was. With difficulty, he opened the door for me and positioned himself to show he was obviously holding it for me. I was touched, as I always am when people hold the door for you, and thanked him. As I was now ahead of him, I said, “Let me return the favor!” and held the door for him to shuffle through. Midway, he stopped and handed me a Werther’s candy and told me to have a nice day. It was a short and sweet interaction, but it was enough to set my whole day into a better cadence than what it had been.
And the Werther’s, my father’s favorite, made me feel like my dad was saying hello.
Snippets and Tidbits 