What’s with the weekend? How is it that two days of normal work week seem to take forever to get through, but the minute you wake up on a Saturday – or on vacation – whoosh!!- time seems to evaporate. I mean literally it’s just gone!
How the hell does that happen.
Know what I got done today? A big fat nothing. I slept in, took a shower, laid in bed and then took another shower, made a salad and watched TV… whew, am I exhausted. Of course I understand that we all need some time to revive our spirits and our bodies, and I did promise that 2013 was going to be the year of my body. The year where I listen a bit more to its little nuances and messages. Sleep some, worry less, walk away from work now and then, avoid dairy and gluten and anything else my body doesn’t seem to want anymore.
Oddly enough, about a year ago you couldn’t pry my cold fingers off my coffee mug. I even bought a small espresso machine after my return from Spain. Now? phht… it smells better than it tastes anymore. I’ve turned the corner to jasmine green tea instead. Hey.. the body wanted it…so there it is.
I have piles everywhere on my desk and a recovery mission on my computer and that doesn’t even begin to discuss the actual WORK I need to get done.
FYI, if you ever get it into your head to “clean up your photo files” because you have multiples, just make sure you don’t have files inside files that show up as two files in your program, because you will ultimately delete the parent file without realizing that this is what you’ve done and have to pray that a Recovery program will save whatever it can from your deleted wastebasket.
Yup, sad to say. Time with my children… trips I’ve taken… friends I’ll never see again… all fragmented and partially recovered. It’s really pretty sad, actually, but I’ll just be thankful for what has been able to be recovered and go on with that.
When I traveled to Germany (photo above), and in fact many of the places I’ve been to while in Europe, I’m awed by the open spaces I see. Rolling land for miles and miles, sometimes with hedgerows and sometimes dotted by sheep, but just rolling along and fairly unobstructed.
It always makes my chest swell with the most joyous feeling.
Back home, I’d feel constricted by the buildings and cramped skyline of my surroundings and I’d become tense and tight.
In 2005 I traveled to Montana with the thought of moving there. The more time I spent in that state, the more comfortable I became and I was convinced that I needed to move out of the concrete canyons and live somewhere with a bit more open space.
It took 7 year after that trip to finally land in a new place, but almost one year ago we moved to an area that is more open and feels more like home to me.
Funny, because my mother swore I’d be the city girl.
Now, when I get a bit tight and scrambled in the head, I go for a short drive around on local roads and I see rolling hills and fields with horses or cows, or even sheep and alpacas and I’m happy. Truly, blissfully, break out into a huge smile happy. I’m not sure what it is about the land, the trees, and the view of an open sky that generates this high, but I’m not complaining one bit.
In fact, I just got back from another drive and my goodness!, do I feel good. :0)
Awhile back I stumbled across a piece about the Electric Daisy Carnival. At the time I thought it had been a one-off kind of event and didn’t pay it much mind. Then, this past summer, I happened to see a short documentary on cable and realized that this one-off event had become a multi-city, multi-day event. After watching the documentary, I commented to Hubby, “I think I’d go to that.”
Let’s just say he was pretty shocked, since I haven’t agreed to go to a live concert in more years than I care to admit. If it wasn’t a performance done by, or involving, the children’s chorus I don’t want to go. I’m not a huge fan of live events mostly because of the audience. The screaming and hooting and general disruptive behavior of a fan “enjoying” the concert is not something I usually can come to grips with. Sitting quietly and giving your full attention to the art the musician is performing is generally my preference. Live concerts (unless you are at a symphony, maybe) aren’t normally so tame.
I think I may have found my mid-ground. If I’m not confined to a specific seat and can find a place to observe from, noisy fans don’t seem to bother me so much. Now how odd is that?
This past weekend, I decided I’d take a page from my Electric Daisy Carnival interest and jump in to see if I really could put that on my “bucket list” by going to an Infected Mushroom concert/event at a local performance venue. Aside from Infected Mushroom, there were 3 other DJ’s that were there to whip the crowd into shape.
I’m pretty sure I was the oldest person in attendance, but honestly, does that matter? Well, maybe. If by wearing a sweater and a pair of jeans, you are WAY overdressed – even if it is only 35 degrees outside, it might be time to re-think my attire for the next time I go to one of these. Surely a t-shirt wouldn’t have been out of line. I’d like to say that many of the females attending this were conservative dressers. The thing they were conserving was the use of FABRIC!!
Still, I found myself reveling in how much fun these people were having and how they didn’t seem to care that some of them were walking around in banana suits, or Mario costumes, or had made a version of chain mail from glow sticks. They were just out to have fun and I found that infectious.
Things I discovered:
I loved the high energy of the music and the crowd.
I am totally into a rave…. if I’m on the sidelines in a fairly safe place. (almost oxymoronic, eh?)
I had fun!
Infected Mushroom put on a good show, although it was only an hour long and I would have liked to have had more of them and less of the 1st official DJ, but still and all. The thumping, the jumping, the ability to watch – not participate – in a mosh pit, and watching body surfing was quite an experience. When I had entered the venue, I had seen signs posted forbidding body surfing, which I snickered at because really…. who does that kind of thing!? Well, silly me, of course that happens. Why else would they need a sign forbidding it? And I guess if the experience of traveling about 20-30 feet while 5-6 feet above ground with people’s hands all over you is worth your price of admission (’cause trust me, they haul you outta there FAST once they see you up there) then so be it. I mean, if people get a kick out of jumping from a bridge with a rubber band attached to their feet, then who am I to question body surfing??
I think the best part of my night was the clash of my two loves; The Chorus and Electronica.
When I first got there, I bumped into one of the chorus kids. He was dressed as I would have expected him to be. He said hello, gave me a big hug and told me his friend likes this “stuff” and that he’d come with him. I know he was surprised to see me there, especially since I tell him to button his tux shirt and straighten his tie for concerts, but he seemed comfy enough. It took him two DJ’s before he lightened up enough to do the simple flat handed arm wave that seems to be the preference of dance/electronica.
The other student I bumped into when we were going for our coats after the performance. She was wearing a fairly skimpy outfit in comparison with what I normally see her in and you could tell she’d been right down in the mix, jumping and pumping her arm and enjoying the show. She came up a bit short when she saw me and her eyes got about as big as saucers before she mumbled a hello and turned on the turbo charge to leave. Lol. Poor thing. I think I shocked the hell out of her. S’ok. She’s going to France with us, so maybe we can exchange a few mp3’s and talk about different bands.
Finally, when I went to rehearsal this past week, I was relating my weekend to some of the ladies who wait in the foyer. I hadn’t seen so many jaws hit the floor in years. Why is it so hard to think that just because my JOB is all about classical music and formality, that I wouldn’t enjoy something a bit rowdy like a rave? I mean.. c’mon!! lol (actually, I understand completely, but it kinda tickles me that I’ve not become pigeon-holed by what “people your age” are supposed to be into) I’m finding more and more I’m happy to follow this line of thinking!
This morning I was dreaming I was doing archery in my parent’s basement.
Odd, because it used to be that dreaming ANYTHING about the basement was a bad dream. This morning, there was a tournament or contest of some kind and I was supposed to hit a green area on a target that was divided up into many portions. Kind of like the posters you see that describe what kind of cut of meat you’ll get if you carve a cow up a certain way. Pleasant, eh?
As an interesting point of reference, my parent’s basement was divided into two parts. We called it “This Side” and “The Other Side”. In between the two sided there was a door. This is the door that the target was posted on. (My parent’s basement had an odd energy, but that’s a different story…)
Anyway, I was in the basement and I think Hubby had strung my bow, but when I went to pull it, the string fell off. There were others in the basement who were chuckling at the failure and I got kinda angry. I was determined to string my bow (I really do have one) and show them that I could hit their target. As I was getting ready to hook the string, some guy was looking at me in a scoffing manner, as if there was no way for me to complete my task. I did it easily and he raised his eyebrows. I notched an arrow and pulled back on my string. I noticed that I had arm braces on, which I WISH I owned, but I currently don’t as my old ones came apart from overuse and I haven’t gotten to a RenFest to buy some nice leather ones. In my dream, I remember noting that since I had those on, I knew something was amiss and as I pulled the string, I got disoriented and let my arrow fly in an awkward manner. The arrow skidded across the tile floor and ended up going under the door.
Adjusting my stance and pulling the string at the proper level, I took aim with my second arrow. I remember seeing the green area clearly, and that it wasn’t exactly where I thought it would have been on the target when looking at it with two eyes, so I adjusted my aim and let her fly.
Damnit if I didn’t wake up just as it was going to hit its green mark on the door between “this side” and “the other side”. Nah, no symbolism there, eh?
I do remember dreaming something before I was in the basement during an archery challenge, but it’s mostly overshadowed by the fact that Paul Rudd was in my dream. And that I knew him. And that we kept exchanging smouldering looks of the “I know you” kind….
I know I have interesting preference in men, but c’mon…I think he’s handsome, generally seems to have a sense of humor and a perpetual smirk. That seems to be what does it for me. Harrison Ford in his Indiana Jones days, Dennis Miller before he started looking rough, Robert Downey, Jr. since he’s cleaned up some, and now… Paul Rudd. At least I’m consistent.
Lucky enough to be running away to a more moderate clime for a week. Jenny has access to a condo in sunny (hopefully!) Florida for a week and we’ve decided we are going to run away. We’ve invited another friend to go with us, so it’s going to be a full on girls week at the beach. Yes!!
Since I got a tablet for Christmas, and I’ll have time lolling about, I expect to be reading some. I read emails and computer stuff all the time, but I rarely get to read for pleasure. I’m excited about that.
Since I’ll be at the beach, it’ll be the best and easiest way to get used to getting up every morning and taking a walk, which is part of my goals.
Speaking of goals… near the end of December, my hubby sent me an email about lists and resolutions. I found it to be very interesting in its approach, because it focused on a different approach than the usual New Year’s resolutions scenario.
Basically, it said that instead of deciding you were going to start doing something new, you should stop and assess what you are currently doing first. I looked at it as a kind of pat on the back or re-affirmation of what’s going right in your world. Essentially, it was to make a list of what works and make that your KEEP list. Then to look at what you are doing that isn’t working and instead of beating yourself up and deciding that you were going to yet again re-commit yourself to doing something that hasn’t worked, to instead add it to a STOP list. I found that to be a fairly freeing thought. And finally, to look at your KEEP and decide if there was any reason or room to START anything new. If there was, it suggested that you not overwhelm yourself with a huge list of things that you’d never truly get to, but instead focus on one or two things you thought you could really commit the time to and go with that.
KEEP, STOP, and START
What would that mean for me?
I think I will keep:
writing in my gratitude journal
making increasingly healthier food choices
working at my job, but remembering that my job is not my life
communicating with friends and family and making sure there is time for those relationships
blogging when the mood hits me
collecting music – about the only thing I *really* collect
being open to new thoughts
viewing all things from multiple angles and finding the most positive way to see them
I think I will stop:
complaining- it’s amazing how much we complain and we don’t even realize we are doing it!
beating myself up if I make an error
depriving myself of sleep when I need it
being afraid to try new things
having an attitude of lack at times. (this one is so off the mark of my reality because I REALLY am blessed!!)
expecting every day to be a highly productive day
I think I will start:
physical self care – walks, sleep, downtime when needed, dr. visits instead of “toughing it out”, me time through hobbies
Looking at this, I don’t feel overwhelmed, but clarified in the direction I want my life to go. So, running away to Florida fits right in here and sunning myself like a lazy lizard is the perfect thing to do just before a spring and summer of busy-busy and go-go.