Spinning

As a metaphor for many things in life, you spin and spin and spin until one day you fall off that cycle.

I used to write here every day for months.. until I fell off.

I was eating well and decaffeinated, until I fell off.

I was working, until I jumped off.

I was living with constant anger and pain, until I both jumped and fell off.

It’s not just the things I do. I feel like this speaks to so many things in life. Relationships that are so great with people until that relationship falls away, hobbies that you enjoy until you don’t, favorite foods you can’t get enough of until you can live without them again….doing something over and over until you don’t anymore.

I miss some of those things that have fallen away, and others, I can live without. Their time is over.

Oddly, having more time to do the things I’ve loved has not always resulted in doing those things. That seems odd to me. I’m bouncing around the country seeing grandchildren and friends, and that feels good, but I’m not reading or doing as many projects that sit in my mind and niggle at me. I’m sure everyone feels this way, right?

Besides, the time with my family and friends is more valuable to me than checking something off my list.