I’m sitting here making a grocery list for the big Thanksgiving meal and feeling a bit odd. When I look at the picture above, I see all the reasons I have to be thankful and yet that first one there, the eldest, she has given me reasons to wonder.
I love her because she’s my child and she’s a bright and sunny person most of the time. I used to sing “you are my sunshine” to her when it was just she and me 26 years ago. At the same time, her choices in this lifetime have exhausted much of my patience and compassion for her at times. How is it you can so thoroughly love someone you are so angry with?
The next one in line is a little foreign to me, since he chooses to align himself with his father. I sang “bicycle built for two” with him. Maybe I knew more about him then I realized at the time. He’s sensitive and loving and noble and honourable. My strong teddy bear.
The next one is like a busy bee. He rapidly flits from thought to thought, all the while keeping track of all the flowers and making sure he’s collecting as much as he can. Be it information, friends, money, whatever he takes a fancy to. That doesn’t mean he neglects anything, in fact he’s a very very attentive and busy bee. Strangely, he seemed to love the song “Silent Night”.
And that last one there? She’s still evolving, but if I had to liken her to anything it would be a snapping turtle. She takes her time, comes out of her shell whenever she is good and ready, seems impervious to anything, but is very soft and squishy inside. However, if you poke her or make her mad, she comes out fighting and can do quite a bit of damage. She loved hearing “gingerbread man”. In fact, she loved just about anything sung to her, and we sang a lot.
My children mean the world to me. They come before anything else, much to my husbands chagrin. (He thought he would top the list!) So how can someone do something so selfish that they would jeopardize having thier babies with them. I am befuddled. I guess I just have to count my blessings and understand that not everyone thinks the same way that I do and try to accept that.