A Tale of WHOA!

Welcome to a tale of woe, that should be a tale of WHOA!
Once upon a time, there was a lowly peasant woman cat herder who really really really enjoyed working with an enchanted beautiful blond Princess from a far off land. The peasant woman was happy to work with the Princess, for the Princess had a wonderful gift that she loved to share with kittens.

One day, the Princess turned to the peasant woman and said, “You do such a lovely job helping me to herd the kittens. I’m sure that if I tell the Queen, you will be handsomely rewarded!”

Huzzah!

The peasant woman was excited and a bit nervous about the Queen and her Castle on the Hill. Though lowly, the peasant woman had already worked for another, much darker Princess and had seen the inner workings of a castle. But the peasant woman so enjoyed her work now that she agreed and happily continued to herd the kittens. But what ho!! The kitten herd had become much larger and now the peasant woman was herding both cats and kittens!

The Princess met with the Queen, and while not happy with the conversation, a deal was struck. She was sure it would all work out in the end.

One day, a castle minion of the Queen, sent a missive to the lowly peasant woman informing her that she was fired, but would be rehired and after the scribes deforested the kingdoms trees to make parchment, she would receive her meager stipend. The peasant woman was not happy, but still loved her cats and the Princess.

Slowly, time passes, and the peasant woman, now feeling like the Lorax, notices that there are no more trees, so she went to the castle to ask of the minion when she could expect her meager stipend. The minion stopped stirring her cauldron and mopped her brow. She gave the peasant woman a frown and said, “I’ve just been too busy making parchment to get to you. Begone! I’m sure your meager stipend will be at your door shortly.”

Time again passes and the peasant woman again goes to the castle minion, but finds that she does not want to talk to the peasant woman and sends her to Lady Laura.

Lady Laura is a kind and soft spoken person, and writes on the copious amounts of parchment, a plan for the payment of the peasant’s stipend, which read:

The new semi monthly position was not available in the system until > today. Early this morning we requested a special check to have the 18 > hours per week paid to you on the first semi monthly pay of Sept 15. > We have processed the last two timesheets from August, but we cannot > guarantee that they will be paid on this special check. This depends > on how soon the forms are worked by the HR Shared Service > Center.

Although disturbed, this missive mollified the peasant woman, for now she had a definite time frame, other than the denuding of the forest, as a stipend schedule.

The seasons began to change, the winds blowing crisp and cool, although there were no leaves drifting about, for there were no trees, Autumn was upon them. The peasant woman was happy that she would finally be receiving her stipend and would be able to pay the miller to keep bread on her table. The promised date arrived and passed and the now lowly, and worried, peasant cat herder quickly notified Lady Laura of the missing stipend. Ever so gracious, Lady Laura told the poor cat herder that she had known full well that the woman would NOT receive her stipend by the date promised on the parchment, and assured the cat herder that if she could only wait a bit longer, maybe a week, that she would be paid. However, she would not be getting the amounts the Queen had promised the Princess, but through bloodletting and reading of entrails, she would now be getting the stipend that the runes forecast.

Now quite disheartened, and with the miller, the baker and the candlestick maker all banging on her shack for payment, the cat herder broke open the last bottle of Belgian ale and began to drink deeply. She drifted off to sleep and in her dreams victory was hers, for she had herded all the cats to the castle doorstep and a great caterwauling erupted from the massed felines until the Queen went mad and threw herself from the tallest tower. The Princess ascended to the throne and the lowly peasant woman was finally given her due.

To Be Continued……