With my children all young adults, (almost oxymoronic, eh?) and the usual concert time crunch in the beginning of December, I made the suggestion that we get an artificial tree. This is the second year I’ve suggested it.
Frank was not amused. In fact, his reaction bordered on indignant. How DARE I consider a faux fir??
Sean was backing the idea of a plastic pine. He even suggested that we could all build a fire in the back yard, trudge out into the cold to the shed, shuffle around inside and come out with “the perfect tree”! Funny boy.
It so happened that yesterday, Sean had brought home a truck and everything fell into place for us to get our tree, kinda. We had originally thought we might go (yikes!!) cut down a tree at a tree farm, but the messy weather didn’t really allow for that, so we piled into the truck and crept through the messy slushy streets to a local roadside tree vendor. Frank, Jr, Sean, Shawnda and I sloshed through the slushy pavement, pulling out trees, shaking them off and spinning them to see if there were holes, or crooked trunks. We were the only silly ones there.
Sean hates the cold and wanted everything to be done fairly quickly. (But that’s just Sean most of the time) It didn’t help that he was hungry and really hadn’t eaten all day. He and Shawnda stood to one side and looked less than comfy. Frank and Jr were ready for the hunt, talking of how they were gonna ‘sawzall’ the poor thing when they got it home. I swear I could see the tree quivering. (that also could have been the person holding the tree simply shivering; it was 28 degrees outside)
After searching the “cheap side” of the lot, we went for the firs. For years we had gotten soft wispy scotch pines so the needles wouldn’t hurt the kids feet, but now that we are all those oxymorons, we can stand the tougher needles of the firs. Just means that MOMMY gets to decorate the thing ’cause now the needles poke their HANDS! 
With our prize in Frank’s hands we loaded the tree into the trunk and I quietly thanked Frank for being so indignant for another year.
Snippets and Tidbits 
I think you wouldn't be happy with a "faux fir" (by the way LOVE that phrase and might have to borrow it). You could get a small one for a minor area of the house to test drive this year. They might grow on you after awhile. I love mine, especially since its pre-lit and I don't have to string those lights on.
That was my thought. That it would simplify things a bit. Maybe in another ten years, when trees are holograms or nanites you design and project or produce with your computer, complete with customized ornaments and a "smell" generator, will Frank be more interested in one. 🙂
Hey, you saw my tree…they don't come any more faux than that!
Whaddya mean?!?! Yours is a fine Pine specimen!!
Tree? What's a tree? Year 2 without a tree woohoo!!!!