Posted in Musings and Mutterings

Feeling Guilty

Two weekends ago, I went down and visited my oldest daughter and her children. It was a really quick visit and a LOOOONG car ride. 20 hours in the car to visit with the kids for less than 20 hours. Whew.

Last weekend, I went to the beach to see my youngest daughter for her birthday. She turned the big 2-0! No more teenagers for me, I’m officially a mom of adults. How incredibly strange this seems to me.

Anyway, the end result of that trip was 6 hours in a car and one real day of visiting her since she worked on Friday and Sunday. We did hang out with her at work, and that was fun, but not the same as one on one time.

My dilemma is not that I spent the time with my girls, far from it. I wish I could have spent more time with each of them, but by taking off two weekends, I’m at a terrible time crunch for finishing up a lot of projects at work. I’m feeling extremely stressed to get this stuff done, done right and done right NOW!! I know it can’t be perfect, but I want it to be as perfect as it can be, so I’ve been staying up late and chained to my desk from early in the AM until early in the AM.

I HAD to take a break to write a blog… it was driving me crazy just inputting data and i knew this wouldn’t take me that long. Besides, I miss my blogging.

The end result of all of this is that I feel guilty that i took the time to visit, even though I don’t feel guilty at all, and I feel in some ways like I was slacking my responsibilities, even though I know I’m not. It all puts me in two mind frames at once, which can make anyone angsty.

I have to take some time to get some groceries tomorrow. Even this thought makes me feel as though I am slacking, even though I’ve got auditions that night from 3-9, so it’s not like I’m shirking work. Ugh. I think I’m going to go lay down and tell my head to shut up, if I can!! Lol.

Author:

I believe you reap what you sow. It's not a Karma thing, it's that I believe you make your own reality whether good or bad. Thus, my favorite saying is, "Say what you mean and mean what you say."

Well, Sharon, if you wanna know what I think....

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