Burning Things

In order for you to be a card-carrying resident of Cow Cownty, you have to burn things. I

Partly this sprang to mind when a youth behind me at the local WallyWorld asked if he could have a lighter, to, you know, burn stuff.

His parent agreed.

Otherwise, I’ve come to this conclusion based on a few other observations:

• The main source of non-religious based entertainment, events or community is at the firehouse.
• If we have over 4 bags of garbage, we have to pay more for our trash pick-up. So, of course, it’s cheaper to burn it.
• The tree limbs in Cow Cownty like to snap off in a mere breeze, thus littering your yard, your neighbor’s yard and the road with burnable material. All for free!
• The check-out line in every store seems to carry every kind of ignition for fire you can imagine.
• We all have fairly large tracts of land, enabling us to burn things safely.
• A great majority of us heat our homes with a wood-burning device.

Thankfully, I enjoy burning branches in our backyard fire pit, and now have enough branches and dead trees to fuel my evening pyrotechnics for probably the entire Summer and Fall. (even though it’s basically a chore that must be completed to remove the debris from my yard)

I wonder when they send you the official Cow Cownty resident card.