I’ve been watching this tree in my backyard slowly turn golden over the past week. It’s a very full tree and has been quite lovely to see. Even during the winds we got on Thanksgiving, the leaves were still clinging to their branches.
This morning we got up and the sun was shining on my golden tree, as leaves rained down continuously for about 3 hours until the tree was practically nude. It was such an odd sight to see, I took a short video.
I need to be up in the morning to get moving on my way down to Salisbury to get Libby from college for the holiday. She’s been looking forward to coming home- to put it mildly- and I’m really looking forward to having her here. I was so shocked, and really happy, because when I was talking to her about baking a pie, she got very anxious and complained for me NOT to do everything, meaning she wanted to come home and help do some of the cooking. (specifically said she wasn’t interested in cleaning the boy’s bathroom, though. can’t blame her there)
Our Thanksgiving will be smaller this year. Just the family and one guest from Japan. We are excited to have him join our table and interested in finding out how he likes our part of the world.I hope he enjoys his visit.
The funniest thing was that both Libby and Sean asked me who was coming for dinner. I told them the guest list and both of them, separately, asked, “Why aren’t Dave and Jenny and Megan coming?” I guess they missed the memo last year about that being a one time thing! Actually, I was quite proud of them for accepting others to our table without any thought of who “does” or “does not” belong. Our family has always been one to accept people into our crazy world, and our crazy world has usually been better for it.
I spoke with Heather tonight. Her husband started a new job. (He had been laid off for a week due to work shortage in the building industry) Luckily he’s with a plumbing company where he can learn some of the maintenance trade and not have to rely on new installs for workload. She was telling me that she had a bunch of sick people in her house, which was sad because the girls are visiting from Mississippi. She also said that the girls were sent with only two pairs of pants and boots and no other clothes, so she was scrambling to find clothing for them. Sigh. Why, why, why, why….She said she was really tired of the fact that every time she gets things cleaned up, another mess befalls her. She will be 27 on November 26th and in her own words she said, “I want to be able to take care of my own things. I’m a grown woman.” You go Heather!! She’s had a lot of knocks and many false starts, but I really feel like she’s in a stable relationship and that she’s ready to take care of business. She also mentioned that she has the girls for longer than she expected during the winter break and that she might come up this way to see the family. I really hope she does. That way Frank and Libby can see the kids. Frank has never seen Tater and neither has Libby. And Lilli was only 4 months when she was last up here. Everyone say a little prayer, please!
We had a great time at the track for Frank’s birthday. It ended up being Frank, Jr., Dave, my sister Marcy and her husband, Jim. I was disappointed that my other sister, Laura, had too many errands to run that day to join us and that I didn’t invite Jenny in time (thought I had, but guess I didn’t) for her to go… darn. I was really surprised that some friends that said they’d try to show didn’t even call to say they weren’t coming. Especially since we always try to attend everything they invite us to and we consider them part of our extended family. No call, no card, nothing. This is one of those times that I get a bit hurt and angry. I have put forth the effort to be a kind an loving person, with small gifts and cards and thoughtfullness towards others and then when it does not occur in reciprocation, I get knocked a bit off my axis. I completely understand that the reason you do for others is NOT to have things done in return, and will continue to do no matter what. But it does sting me a bit when no one thinks the way that I do. I stress and worry about making sure birthday cards get to people and that thank you cards go out when appreciation is due. And I notice it bugs me the MOST NOT when people forget my birthday or don’t do things for me, but when they don’t do for Frank. He was, after all, their friend first. How can people who know Frank, a kind, considerate and caring person who lives to help others and thinks nothing of doing something for them, not even bother to call and say they can’t come to his birthday and hang out for a few minutes. Just blows my mind and makes me suspicious off all the “inclusive” nice things they say.
I guess I’ve said enough, or maybe too much? I’m going to get the girl tomorrow and I look forward to a BIG HUG when I get there.
I was really happy to see the mitten tree is still up and going at LOLMS. Every now and then you do something in life and then you move on, sometimes without thought as to whether or not the thing you did had an impact or lasting effect. I was in the Post Office the other day and the Post Master noticed I was sending baby clothes to Heather. He said, “Yeah, I’ll never forget you gave my wife her first crib.” It touched me that he would remember something I did over 20 years ago. Similarly, even though it would NEVER have been possible without the many others who have spent countless hours and effort to do it, I’m so glad I asked Daniel’s Mom if she would be willing help me do mitten tree. I’m just REALLY happy that these children have been helped through the LOLMS families and kind of amazed, really, that one idea and request has gone so far. Wow… really shows you what can happen if you only ask.
I copied all my photos from Yahoo and am now starting to insert them where they belong in my blog here. It’s been a pretty slow process. I try to get to it in between all the other stuff. Now some of my past blogs will make more sense. (Assuming anyone ever goes back and reads OLD blogs!)
I got a call from my Aunt today, telling me that my Uncle had passed away on Tuesday and the services were this weekend. I asked her how she was and how he had passed. She was a bit shaky, but went through the story about how he had undergone surgery to remove a nasty polyp and while he did well with the surgery, the stress on his body kicked his dementia up a notch. He had been a bit difficult and was having troubles eating so they were going to give him a feeding tube, but his heart gave out before they could get to it. The polyp was diagnosed as cancerous and so my Aunt and Uncle had been faced with the consequence of going through the advancing stages of cancer or trying to remove the portion of intestine and effectively “nipping it in the bud”. Tough call when you are 92. The worst part of the story is that my Aunt was so very sad and hurt that he didn’t pass away at home, and I can’t be sure she was even with him. That thought just tears me up inside. To have been married and sharing my life with this person for so long and then not being able to say goodbye or more importantly, being there for the person who is passing.
My Uncle John and Aunt Dot have been married for years and years. More than 50 for sure. In many ways they reminded me of myself and Frank. Uncle John was calm and tall and always smiling with apple cheeks and sparkly eyes. Aunt Dot was the manager, you could tell. Aunt Dot is my grandmother’s sister and the only family I have left on my mother’s side. I have one Aunt on my father’s side left as well.
I talked to my sister earlier to discuss plans and who would be attending what and who might want to chip in for flowers, and while we were talking about it, the issue of our brother, John, came up. Ever since my mother passed away, my brother has had nothing good or nice to say about any of his sisters. We can’t really figure out where all this vituperous spewing is coming from, but he’s made sure he’s alienated himself for sure. I designated my older sister to calling him. They had been the closest all those years ago, so maybe the two of them will be able to talk to one another.
So there are my Two Johns, one I remember with fondest thoughts and the other that I find confusing and a bit disturbing with the blatant malevolence he exudes.
I have been searching high and low for a theme that *I* liked. One that had a pleasing color, but didn’t have a transparent background, which makes the text terribly difficult to read. This is it!! I love the cool green and the water droplets… now I feel at home.
My mom had a knack for finding four leaf clovers. She just spotted them with very little effort. She’d be walking along and bend down all of a sudden and there it was, her four leaf clover. She also found change on the ground all the time. I’m not sure if this means she was just lucky, or that she never seemed to look up. Actually, if you knew my mom, it was probably a bit of both.
Running backwards
Down the halls of memory
Feet tripping on words
Words past spoken
People past known
Places past gone
In the deepest recesses of memory
Some things better left forgotten
Some better remembered
Bringing tears
Joy, anger and
Frustration
Some play as a cinematic showcase
Some come in frightening flashes
Sitting on grandma’s knee
Age four
Seeing a friend in a pool of blood
Age 17
Some things better remembered
Some better left forgotten
All in the deepest recesses of memory
Opportunities passed by
Risks taken regardless
Of consequences
Surprises discovered
Both upsetting and exciting
Looking back, like through the
Windows of a home by a child on a dark street
Can’t stand to see anymore
Make it stop please
Running to the end of the hall
Doors slammin closed as passed
The darkness tries to catch
And encase, strangling
Back against wood breathing heavily
Close the door.
Breath, twisting and rising
In the misty night air
Drifting away
Drinking in
The fresh damp eve
Smiling as my hair
Dances with the breeze
Eyes alight with a quiet fire
Burning in the chill of the darkness
Eyes gripped
With strength and ambition
Yet quivering lips
Like a small frightened child
As the mist wraps ’round
The wet body
I laugh whispering
From those shaking lips
The leaves tremble and shake
Crackling in the wind
Without a word
The winds turn to gusts
The fires burn brighter
The fists clench with fierce determination
And I relax
Gentle and subdued
Another creature
Cradled by nightfall
And the crescent moon
While my skin glistens
In the dim pallor
A smile parts over the now firm lips
The wind dies
Leaving the branches still
And I slip into the mist
Strong of heart
Strong of will
Strong of mind
Strong of soul
Cradled by
The crescent moon
Snippets and Tidbits 