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Image• Posted on February 25, 2014 by Sharon

A Social Experiment

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Sharon

It didn’t start as an experiment, but the results were perplexing and interesting.

Hubby and I had stopped by his workplace after normal business hours to pick up something he’d left on Friday. The company’s customer service department consists of about 12 women, which he refers to as “the hen pen”. Every year I send in gifts during the holidays and often I send in goodies when I’m in the mood to bake something.

On this day, I decided to put sticky-notes on each computer monitor with a bright and cheerful greeting to start their Monday morning. Sayings such as “Smile! It’s going to be a great day!” and “Isn’t it nice to know someone loves you?” were distributed throughout the office by a giddy me, who was feeling akin to Tinkerbell busily sprinkling happy fairy dust around.

That night, it snowed.

Monday wasn’t a very happy commute, so I was even more certain my notes would be received and might make someone a bit more chipper after a tense drive in to work.

On Monday evening, I asked Hubby how it went, and he said he hadn’t heard anything about it.

On Thursday evening, he finally asked the ladies to see if anyone had even noticed and found out that after an initial blush of “aww, that was sweet!”, the next thoughts were, “who did this?”. He said that after they had formed CSI teams to match handwriting to attempt to determine the culprit, they finally degraded into finger-pointing and blame for whomever “would do this to us” or “wanted to pull one over on us”.

W. T. F. ???? Seriously!?

What does this say about the mentality of an office full of women? Yikes!

How could something that was put out with nothing but loving intent and good nature be twisted into something that was wrong and abusive. Does this say that the average person is nothing but suspicious of good intentions and rather than basking in the glow of a happy thought, it’s easier to degrade into accusations and suspicion? Wow.

Dear Universe, THANK YOU for reminding me that

I love that I work from home.
People need more kindness strewn about like fairy dust.

Musings and Mutterings

Old Squishi EMail

Posted on January 30, 2014January 30, 2014 by Sharon

While digging through a bunch of files to see what could be purged I found some old email. This batch, in particular, was akin to finding the dusty old letters tied with a ribbon in a cigar box in your grandmother’s attic. Naturally, you’d want to read them.

Reading old messages carries mixed emotions. They are time portals into your life. Little snapshots of what was going on and how you were feeling about it all. Reminders of feelings that have (or haven’t) changed, outlooks that have been outgrown, things you felt were important and connections that were made or lost.

They are also a venue to take a removed look at yourself. I was lucky enough to find not only the mail sent to my squishi account, but also my responses. It was particularly fun to read what *I* wrote. Sometimes a bit embarrassing, but mostly I got to see me the way I was seen by others. Interesting, because while in the throes of being “ME” I have no sense of self in that fashion. Hopefully, I’m making myself clear here. It’s akin to finding a video you don’t remember being taken of you and then watching it years later. You probably look at it and say, “I looked like that?” or “I said that?”. I’m sure there would be times you would surprise yourself with your insight or witticisms, and others when you’d have a face-palm moment. That’s exactly how I felt reading my old emails.

And then I re-tied the ribbon, placed them back into the dusty cigar box and hid them in the attic again, just waiting for the next time I find them and decide it’s time for some nostalgia.

Musings and Mutterings

My Furry Children

Posted on January 22, 2014January 23, 2014 by Sharon

Hello blog! Long time, no write. Without being overly obvious, I sure have done a sucky job keeping up with this lately.

And there is just SO MUCH to talk about. Which might be a good thing, because I can’t really bitch that there isn’t anything to talk about, eh?

First off, let’s harken back to July, when I adopted two small kittens. They aren’t so small anymore. Sally looks like a normal sized cat, but Scout? Well, he’s gonna be a big fellow.

These two are the SWEETEST cats on the planet. Scout actually asks you to pick him up and WANTS you to kiss him. Sally just wants to be touched or touching you. I’ve been so blessed with cuddly, loving kitties.

After I got these two, I decided I should just go ahead and replace all my grown human children with furry children.

And so… I’ve added my last furry family member for a bit. Meet Sam!

Sam is a 13 week old… well… we aren’t really sure what Sam is, other than canine. He’s a bit of a mix, looking like he might be Shepherd and Lab, or something. The only thing we can tell is he’s going to be big. He was 20 lbs at his first vet appointment. He also has some interesting brindle markings. It doesn’t matter, he’s just the best boy ever. He’s almost housebroken (… alllllmost) and we couldn’t have gotten a sweeter boy if we’d ordered one specially made for us. He’s smart and cute and we are both madly in love with him.

And don’t forget, we still have Piper!

She looks thrilled, doesn't she? — She looks thrilled, doesn’t she?

Two boys and two girls; just like their human counterparts. My daughter (the Piper equivalent) posted a comment on Facebook that said, “Does anyone else think Mom and Dad have a case of empty nest syndrome?”

Well, maybe I did. But not anymore. I’ve got plenty of activity and lots of love and good energy all around me now. Happy camper, me!

Musings and Mutterings

Clutter and War

Posted on November 16, 2013April 9, 2014 by Sharon

Like any other muscle, the brain needs to be used or it gets squishy. These days, both my mind and my body seem to be doing as little as possible, and both are becoming squishy. I have little desire to do much of anything, while at the same time, I want to do a million “other” things that I believe I’d do if I had the chance. If I’m realistic about it, I probably wouldn’t do those either. My husband calls this depression and encourages me to find a piece of shriveled up corn to kick-start my thought processes. (this won’t make sense unless you read Hyperbole and a Half’s post about depression)

I’m not sure I’m quite where she was. I think I’m more at war with my surroundings and instead of fighting the clutter and stress and work, I’m just hiding in my head. Of course, it would be great if *I* could find *me* in there so I could wake myself up and tell myself all is well.

“If beating ourselves up worked, we’d all be thin, rich and happy by now.”—Cheryl Richardson

Musings and Mutterings

Thanking My Lucky Cars

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Sharon

Everett and I have an understanding. I take care of him and he takes care of me. Everett is my car.

My work keeps me out a bit late and my way home on Thursdays is on a more rural road with some twisty back roads. I was diddy-bopping along and jammin’ to music when I saw a buck saunter out into the road ahead of me, followed by another deer. At 55 mph, I figured I’d just miss the buck, but wasn’t sure whether to slow down for the other deer or to speed up and slip between the two.

After a moment’s hesitation, I yelled an obscenity and decided I wasn’t going to slow down in time and I’d rather have a sidelong impact than head on, so I continued forward at +50 mph. Sure enough, I heard a thump on the side of my car.

I motored on… the car behind me slowed down. I don’t know if what went bump in the night for me laid down in the road for them, or if they too were deciding how to play this out. Either way, I wasn’t sticking around.

On the way home I assessed the car’s ride and was grateful the window were all intact. Strangely, through the whole thing, I felt amazingly calm. My music was thumping, and Everett was still riding smoothly, so I just knew everything was fine. There could be no other explanation.

I made it home without further excitement and pulled into the driveway to survey the passenger side of my car. Everett’s safety bubble proved itself once more. Not a dent on him. Looks like a bit of a scratch, but nothing some buffing couldn’t fix at the most.

Like I said, I take care of Ev and Ev takes care of me. Love my car and so thankful for my safety bubble.

Musings and Mutterings

Re-learning Skills

Posted on October 2, 2013October 2, 2013 by Sharon

I hate you, Florence Henderson. First you messed up my hair as a youngster and then your photo – which was supposed to enhance my wonderfully written blog – ended up deleting EVERY WORD.

Oh, and your hair cut SUCKS!!

And since everything I wrote just went to blog hell, I might as well post the other photo I wanted to use as an example.

And finally, this one….

So… who can guess what my original blog was?

1. The Shag – my mother loved it. I hated it.

2. Farrah Fawcett Wings – where I learned the art of blow dryers and curling irons and Aqua Net, along with an amusing tale about hair, lighters and a concert.

3. 80’s Poodle Do – which inspired me to grow my hair long and straight for nearly 2 decades.

4. Hedgehogs – as styling tools.

5. Now – where I try to remember how to use a curling iron without burning myself hideously or melting off my hair.

But no… none of that remained once I put up the evil photo of Florence up there. Bitch.

Musings and Mutterings

Always the Gourmet Chef, Never the Scullery Maid

Posted on October 1, 2013October 2, 2013 by Sharon

If there were only a way for me to always be the Chef, creating and stirring and whipping up something really tasty without also having to be the scullery maid afterwards, I sure would enjoy being in the kitchen more.

In this new eating world of Paleo, there are many recipes I’d love to try. However, in my 80’s era kitchen with narrow counter tops and a double sink I’d love to rip out for one lovely deep basin, the thought of cooking becomes less than appealing. I will say, the new stove and fridge have boosted my desire to be in the kitchen a bit, but the rest of it?…. phooey!

And then I think… I should be grateful I have a kitchen. I have a place to cook nutritious foods. I have a way to store them. I have utensils and gadgets and electricity and running water. I should be thankful. I am. I am very thankful I have all these things. But in the words of Queen, “I want it all, and I want it NOW!”

Now that I’ve been in my new home for 1.5 years, I’m ready to upgrade the kitchen. I don’t really see that I’ll be doing this unless I also upgrade/convert the basement wet bar/kitchen as well. I know… I know… first world problems….let me wallow. I’ll vacillate back to being thankful soon enough.

Musings and Mutterings

Please Save Mom and Pop!

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Sharon

The American dream… open a shop, sell things to locals, make a living interacting with the community, have a big chain store move in nearby, lose all your business, be creative to re-attract business, fail and close shop.

So sad.

Yesterday I pulled up to the drive-thru window of a local coffee shop. I really like the ability to zip on through and pick up my espresso while out doing chores, especially since I had my new little kitties in the car after a visit to the vet. They were stressed out enough without me leaving them in the car to pick up coffee.

I sat looking at the menu, waiting for the window to open and that cheery girl to ask me how my day was going. I noticed that the plants out front looked a bit dry (dead actually) and then noticed the sign on the window.

“…. friends and family have encouraged me to give up and follow a new path on my life’s journey….. final day will be Thursday, August 15th….”

Wha? Damnit, another one bites the dust.

This independent coffee shop was a place for local music. They hosted all kinds of evening performances. They weren’t far from the local college. How could this happen? Sigh…

Since I still had the droopy eyelids and kitties in the car, I decided I would lower my coffee snob standards and go to the drive-thru Dunkin’ Donuts instead. Their coffee really isn’t the best, and costs more, but it should be quick.

As I pull around the corner, I see a line of cars 6 deep, waiting to order. Phht… forget that!! First, it wouldn’t be quick, and second, read the above paragraph.

Why in the world would people line up at a place that was equally embedded in a strip mall setting, had inferior coffee, cost more, has never had good customer service the 3 times I’ve been there (I had gift cards) above a chic, friendly, local coffee shop?! People confuse me. (and before anyone says it, I realize it’s mostly to do with big advertising budgets and marketing and branding.. still.. blech)

Since I’ve moved up here, I’ve had a local nursery with a small petting zoo attached close, a bakery close, 3 locally owned restaurants close, and now the coffee shop. It’s distressing. I came here partly because the area still felt real, and not someone’s homogenized version of reality. The real people, owning their shops, growing the food and working businesses is what appeals to me. I’ll go to a Mom and Pop shop quicker than any other.

Having crossed the country in a motor home twice during my youth, I got to see the country before big box stores were common, and I liked it. I felt that should be how things were done. I guess that stuck with me. I can’t deny that I will sometimes go to Wal-Mart or Target, but honestly, that whole experience is just so sterile. If I can find the same thing being sold in a shop on Main Street, I’m going to buy it on Main Street instead.

It is my sincere desire that this area remains peppered by Moms and Pops who have the goal of a sucessfull businesses. Mind-numbing experiences of large shops filled with goods from China tended by people who are only there for a paycheck just aren’t my thing.

And to put my money where my mouth is, here are some local places I love:

http://www.birdiescoffee.com/ Great place to sit and chat over good brew. No drive thru, but a great garden to rest in.

http://www.myjcafe.com/ Awesome cupcakes. Just ask my friends! Fav is the sweet potato or carrot cake!

http://www.starrynightbakery.com/ Another place with awesome cupcakes, but these are more dark. Fav is the Mahoo Wahoo – espresso and chocolate

http://www.cuttinggarden.net/ Friendly people, great customer service, fantastic pricing and locally grown fresh flowers. The best florist I’ve found around town!

These are just a few of the places I’ve been to recently, but I’ve bought meat from the farmers who raised the cows, I belong to a CSA that keeps me in veggies all spring through fall, I found a local honey farm and I get my eggs just after they’ve been collected. I also found a local place for t-shirt graphics and a shop with a very nice woman named Carol, who sells pellet and wood stoves, so it’s not like I’m just eating sweets and sipping coffee while surrounded by lovely flowers all the time.

Do you have a favorite local shop? Tell me about it! I’d love to know that Mom and Pop shops are still going strong.

Musings and Mutterings

On Turning 50

Posted on August 21, 2013August 21, 2013 by Sharon

Here I am, just shy of 50. Not really sure what that means, or if it should mean anything. To many, 50 seems to be a landmark birthday. As if by reaching that certain date, your life will metamorphose into something…. else. Seems that most approach it with dread and desperation, but to me, it’s something else.

To me, I’m pretty certain it’s another opportunity to celebrate me. Sounds a bit egotistical, but hopefully you won’t click away in disgust, and you’ll read further.

I fully expect to be 113 years old. I fully expect to be healthy and mobile and spry and connected. I fully expect to have that glimmer… that gleam… that spark at 113. I’m absolutely positive I’m going to go to the National Archives, see where I signed my name on the time capsule when I was 13, marvel at the tricentennial commemorative junk, have a good burger on my birthday and then turn in for the evening, which will turn into my dirt nap. (Until I decide it’s time to take a romp in this realm again) *No, Jenny, not as a zombie!* That’s my plan.

Until then, I get to celebrate me another 62 times. Woo hoo! During the celebration of me, I think it’s important to look back over the year and recognize how I’ve grown. Did I take time to let the people in my life know how much I love them and what they mean to me. I may know exactly when my exit is, but that doesn’t mean I know when anyone else will choose to depart. I feel good about my accomplishments, both professionally and personally. I think it’s good to appreciate your experiences. I also believe that it’s a good time to consider some new possibilities and decide just what it is I want to do/learn for the next arbitrarily set amount of time. (since time doesn’t really exist, it’s always arbitrary)

This birthday, I decided to have some friends over to join me in a Spa Day. I’ve hired a masseuse, bought candles that smell fresh and clean, ordered white daisies and white carnations (my favorite flowers) ordered some of my favorite foods and will mix up a punchbowl of my favorite cocktail. I’m really looking forward to it. Not too much, and with my friends, who are more family than not.

I’ve seen butterflies EVERYWHERE this year. I could sit for hours and watch my butterfly bush, but I’ve seen butterflies while out and about, in decor, on clothes…. So, it dawned on me that maybe I should think about this, because when I think about butterflies, like most people, I believe, I think about change. So, what’s changed?

I feel less worried about being alone and spending time with myself. I’ve found that I don’t need to worry so much about what others think of me, or being accepted, and that the more I like me, the more I’m liked. Phhhh, what’s not to like? It’s interesting how you can see yourself as this totally fucked up insecure and flawed person, while someone else looks at you with admiration and awe – for exactly the same reasons! Instead of denying the things being said to me, I’m choosing to be open and listen. Even if what’s being said about, or to, me isn’t nice. I mean, really, who doesn’t want to hear lovely things, but those ugly things aren’t as easy to listen to, now are they? And I’m accepting that if I want joy, light and happiness in my life, it’s important to focus on joy, light and happiness.

Ultimately, 50 is fine. 50 is great! 50 is almost like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. 50 is friends, fun, carrot cake, fried okra, relaxation, music, love and laughter. Here’s to 50! :0)