Author: Sharon

Whew! Well that was FUN-TASTIC!

Now, we are all attempting to recover from our revelry.

The basement was set up and cleaned, a table ready, the freezer available, a fire going in the beast, games, food, music and beverages and guess what we did all night? Sat around the kitchen counter, ate, drank and talked.

What’s the saying? “No matter where I serve my guests, they seem to like my kitchen best”. Yeah, that one. No complaints though. Just an easygoing evening with friends.  Since N couldn’t make it, we decided to make a shrine to her and felt we needed to involve her in our merry-making….

That N got around, let me tell you! B had so much fun she left her clothes and some music here. Jenny left a pan, indicating that she’d love to make some more monkey bread in the future. L left COOKIES and I had to leave everyone to go off to a lunch date with a good friend and two Elementary teachers who taught in my elementary school. Much hard thought went into remembering way back  for all involved and the teachers were interested in what I’ve done with my life. I answered and we chatted and they came to the consensus that I’ve had a very charmed, interesting and fun life.

As I walked home, I considered that. I reviewed what I’d told them and considered how I’d feel if I’d heard these things and not lived them. Then I said a huge thank you to the powers that be for giving me these experiences.

All of which has left me in a pleasant little fuzzy sleepy lull of a Sunday, part of which I spent sitting in some sunshine and just relaxing while listening to some music.

Thank you, J, B, L and N, my dear friends, I love you all and am so happy to have you in my life.

I’ve heard that people come and go from your life in the time frame and manner that they are supposed to, and I know that relationships change, but I gotta say that I can’t seem to wrap my mind around some choices. Before you get all preachy with me, I know I’m not supposed to “get” every choice, since I’m not the person living that life and feeling what they are feeling. I can only ever truly experience life from my perspective.

Now that you understand that I understand this, also understand that this is my blog and as such, it is where I choose to ponder the choices of others now and again. You are welcome to come along with me if you choose. If not – that’s ok, too.

I knew someone who used to go nuts when I would say, “It’s your choice, or not.” or “We could go to this place, or not.” I think the thing that made him bonkers was he viewed this as indecisive. In fact, many might view it the same way, but to me it was more of a reminder that he had a choice. He could guide the interaction, based on his choice. I think we forget sometimes that in  anything, there is always a choice. We are never  victims if we chose to put ourselves in certain circumstances, right?

Have you ever gotten an email when you were just not in a good mood  and the text, while innocuous enough, struck you just a certain way that you read all kinds of emotion into the words that were never meant by the author, only to read the same email later, when in a different frame of mind, and see that your understanding of that email is completely different?

Sometimes I like to revisit events in my life as if I’m re-reading that email. Maybe look at it from a new perspective.

I have a “friend” (what do you call someone you shared your life with and whom you hold no ill will towards, but who has chosen to not interact with you anymore? Is that still a friend?) who hung around with Hubby and I long ago. We were always together and rarely did anything without the other. This person wanted companionship, love and support, since they were recently out of a failed  relationship, had been dealing with an ailing parent and was generally miserable. They still hung out with all the same people we did, so I did what I tend to do and  bring them into the fold of my “family” and hope that the tenure of our friendship is uplifting and positive.

This person was really stung by the way their  other half had betrayed them, and again, all of us being in the same group made it difficult to not see the new pair all the time. Additionally, the other half had left my friend with an extra passenger, but didn’t want to be involved in its destruction even though they had certainly been involved in its creation. The choice to move on to another relationship I could deal with. The choice to remain in the same set of friends was, to me, harsh. The choice to not support someone while they go through the destruction of a creation you are equally responsible for pisses me off.

Since I never know who reads what, I’m not going to go any further into details, but suffice it to say that elaborate measures were taken to make the other half understand how their choice had affected my friend by altering their perception. Albeit some slight of hand and trickery was involved in changing the view,  I think the experience was ultimately something that was positive.

I don’t know if my “friend” ever told the then-other-half-and-now-spouse the truth, the whole truth an nothing but the truth, but I don’t think that really matters. They’ve been together for many years and are very happy. But here is the crux of why I share this with you. We don’t talk anymore and I’m not sure why.

They moved away and we would talk on the phone and visit when we were in town. We never got into an argument or a fight and we had been very good friends, but after talking to her one night, they shut down. No calls, letters, greeting cards.. it all came to a grinding halt. Recently, we found ourselves on FB and I sent them a letter asking how life was and how things were going. I didn’t really get anything back, so I wrote again. It was a breezy email about how life was going and supportive of their medical diagnosis and such and still. No response.

Ok, that stung. I had hung with this person through some very tough times and now I’m persona non gratis? Huh? Why would you make a conscious choice to do that to someone? Was it fear that their other half might find out what was done all those years ago? I don’t think so.  My mind reels with the why, until I remember that it was their choice. Their choice had more to do with them and where they were  at this point in their life, rather than with me.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t wonder what was going on inside their head when they made the choice and doesn’t mean I have to like it either.

I had another “friend” whom I had cared for and involved in my world  for many years. We were very close  and had much fun together. I really wanted this person to be happy and had hoped they would find the perfect person for them to be with. When they met their now other half, it was insisted that we no longer speak to one another. I’m sure they were wanting to keep peace in the new relationship, they decided to cut me from their life as well. Would have been nice to have them explain that to me instead of the way it happened.

Disposable Sharon was what I was thinking at the time. Eventually, I considered the timing of the universe and realized that by taking the brunt of the  rejection and working through that, I had done them a favor. This relationship was at a point where I was no longer able to give as much support as was needed by my “friend” and if I had given up and “dumped” them the way they did me, they would have never survived it at that point in their life, whereas I’ve always been the stronger of the two,  and able to rebound with a better attitude due to my believe in all that’s good and generally sunny nature. (Which was restored in part due to my surgery – yes!!) So now I think, ‘Your welcome. I’ve continued to support you.” when I feel the occasional sting of wanting to just call up and shoot the breeze with my ex-buddy or  hear and see things that remind me of them.

In fact, both “friends” were basically in the same situation before they shed me of them. In some ways I can liken this to having two children who flew the nest.

Either way, every time I visit these situations, I try to look at them from a different perspective than I did before and see the lessons that I learned from each.

And then I had another friend whom I had thought was long gone show up again. This person told me how much I had meant to them and how I’d affected their life. They were so happy to know I was doing well. They showed up at just the right time and what they told me was just what I’d needed to hear. We are still in touch.  Shortly after that, another friend and then another popped up. Each of them told me that I’d been a positive point in their life. We are also still in touch.

Cycles… balance….but most of all love. I’m full of love. Sure I get angry or hurt, but my predominant thought for people I meet is love, care and support. I should know better than to doubt me. My heart is in the right place for me and the choices of others were made for them. I can respect that.

I went shopping today for my upcoming slumber party.

1. Blinds so no one can see us dancing in our jammies. Check!

2. A 6 foot long table with a new table cloth for all the goodies and beverages. Check!

3. Some wire for speakers to enhance the audio of the TV for music, games or movies. Check!

4. A measuring shot glass for the mixing of new concoctions. Check!

5. A bucket for ice. Check!

6. A candle for aroma and atmosphere. Check!

7. Triple sec, Vodka, Raspberry Liqueur, Blue Curaçao, Sierra Mist and Sweet and Sour mix for my contribution to the craziness of 5 women who all need to cut loose and have a great time. Check!

When I came home, I tried all three of the possibilities I had in mind and I have to say, they are all pretty amazing!!

I’m really looking forward to my friends and lots of laughter. Now I have to find a Twister game…. lol

Stream of consciousness writing today. Strap yourselves in, it could be a bumpy ride.

$280.00 is a crazy amount of money for basic groceries. Lots of fruit and veggies – in fact most of my shopping time is done in the outer perimeter of the grocery store – and still it’s just that much for 3 of us. True, I hadn’t been in two weeks, so really it’s about $140.00 a week, guess I shouldn’t really bit*h.

It’s a mookey day. Even the dog curled up into a little ball. I was supposed to go to a drumming ceremony for Japan, but I was debating if it’s a sinus issue or a cold. I decided to err on the side of caution and fuzzy blankets. I’m gonna soak in a hot shower, get some tea and sit in front of a fire while watching some mindless entertainment that #4 chooses.

This is always a busy time of year with the grindstone. Concerts, external performances, cd recording, looking into going to the opera while in Italy and in another week it’ll be time yet again to play…….you got it…….Human Tetris. I know this sounds like it’s complaining, but it’s not. I’m busy with work but on the whole, I’m very pleased with the work I do. A few weeks ago, I had to help the accompanist with a group of singers while she was teaching another group on some instruments. I stepped in front of the kids, smiled, held my hands out and got whoops, cheers and applause. You can’t buy that kind of love at work. How often do your co-workers get excited and clap and cheer for you, just because you stepped in front of them?

Monday we had a rehearsal for a performance…. in Baltimore… on opening day. Uh huh… took me three hours to get home.

I’ve decided to rummage through my cd collection and use my new 2TB drive along with my 1TB external drive to house some of my music. Then I’ll get rid of the cd, especially if it’s one I really don’t listen to. This will help my with my efforts to pare down my belongings. I’d really rather not have to move tons of junk when I go. Besides, why keep if you don’t use it. To that end, I think a local daycare Mom will be inheriting tons of crafting supplies.

My party is next weekend, which means Hubby will be away in Sweden. I’ve tried to come up with my contribution to the refreshments. #3 and I started hunting beverages online while we had lunch together today and so far, I’m leaning towards a Dr. Peter Venkman, but I’m not settled yet.

Exciting, eh? Well, it’s that kind of fried day. 

Years ago, I had a new neighbor move in. He and his wife were likeable enough. She was more outgoing; he gardened in his speedo. I have nothing against personal comfort, but some people just don’t have the physique on which a speedo is flattering. He was definitely one of these people.

Nevertheless, (this is funny to me, but I’ve given you a hint above about why) he would work for hours in his yard with his skimpy loin covering, no shirt, a heavy kind of hiking shoe, a long ponytail and a cowboy hat. He dug, he built and he planted. He was such an avid gardener that he decided he didn’t like a gas lamp that was part of my yard, so he removed it and the ivy I loved that grew upon it, without permission. I truly believe he felt he was doing me a favor when he  finished and had planted a holly bush in it’s stead.

Having small children at the time and enjoying the ability to walk around my yard in my bare feet, a holly bush didn’t seem very welcoming, but that prepared me for his next move.

Since he’d taken the liberty to tear out my lamp post and give me a sticky bush, his next plan was to get his yard surveyed. I thought he might be planning an addition – which did eventually occur – but initially, it was for the addition of a fence.

I’m not a big lover of fences. I understand them and can see the need in some circumstances, but I don’t really like them. This guy had no animals and no children, so the reasoning for him to put up a fence seemed like it had more to do with establishing boundaries instead of trying to contain anything.  My first clue that this might be the case was when he dug the post holes directly on the property line. I don’t mean that he dug them so the edge was on the line, I mean he dug them so his post was half on his property and half on mine! It was just another thing that stuck in my craw. After the fence went in, so did loads more landscaping, which only seemed to confirm his desire to block out everything and everyone.

Eventually, he moved.

Enter the new neighbors, who are very nice people. They have two children and a dog and the other guy’s rotting fence. Recently, a pretty aggressive dog hopped into their yard – and their dog kept hopping out – so the decided to put up a new fence. I’m still not a fan of fences. I feel they send a negative message about contact with the “people on the other side”, but at least I can understand the thoughts my neighbors have about “keeping everything in.” Their children are young and the dog is a good jumper and they want to keep their family safe. I get it.

I was very touched that they asked my opinion about post placement, and pleased that they decided to move their newer posts back 6 inches so that they were on their own property and not on mine. What I’m not as happy about is the height of the fence, which is pretty high. It’s another visual blight on my yard, the greenery and just my own sense open-ness. Sigh. Another reason I wanna move…

I think Bing expressed it best when he sang this:

Today is April Fools day.

So far my bout with fools was with Verizon. Multiple phone calls, processes that lead nowhere but back into themselves, money turned away and a host of other fun things occurred. Nothing more need be said.

Now Jenny, however, is having a blast in her office. She put a sign on the copier across the hall that said the copier had been upgraded to voice command, so she got to hear people yelling, “One copy!” at the machine. When someone would come into her office to report that the machine wasn’t working, Jenny’s cohort would go into the copier room and shout, “Two Copies” at which point Jenny would send a two page print job from her computer.

Devilish minx, she is!!

In other news, Hubby and #2 are here working on the new guts for my machine. Hubby said he went ahead and got “military grade” equipment so my  personal awesome power surges won’t blow my machine up anymore. Of course I’m hearing things from the kitchen like, “Buttons, switches, SLOTS!”

Best part of the whole thing? Bess is sitting under a bouquet of flowers peaking her head into the guts of my machine, making sure the “humans” do it right!

In a word, I did it. I blogged every day in March. That means I’ve now blogged every day on the shortest month of the year and every day on one of the longest months of the year. Whew! It *can* be done!

We’ll be cleaning up around here and putting a few things in order. I wish it were warmer, but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards this weekend.

My dog and cat, being the social creatures that they are, like to eat when we do.  It’s kind of nice to have this communal mealtime, but something my dog Piper does is baffling to me.  Stranger still is that the dog I had before her, Butchie, used to do it as well, although his eating rituals were even more intense than Pipers.

In Butchie’s days – may I just interject here that Butchie was the best dog in the whole wide world- the wall in front of his dish had dark green wallpaper with red berries and swirls of lighter green vines on it. Butch would stand in front of his bowl and stare at the wall, almost as if he were giving thanks or conjuring some flavor other than kibble to savor. I used to say he was praying to the Berry Gods.

After this contemplation, he would take his first mouthful of food and carry it out to the living room where he would promptly deposit it on the carpet. It HAD to be on the carpet. He’d stand with that food in his mouth forever until you would move and let him get to the carpet.

Then he’d go back to his bowl, eat his fill and then return to the carpeted area for that last mouthful, or as I call it, dessert.

Piper doesn’t have Berry Gods to contend with, just bright and cheery yellow walls. She doesn’t contemplate anything, but she does carry her last mouthful of food to dump on the carpet and then enjoy eating it there.

What is up with that?

Bess takes a bite of food and moves backwards from her bowl to eat it over the place mat I have near her dish. Invariably, there are always little bits near her bowl that need to be cleaned up. She refuses to eat these inferior morsels. In fact, if her bowl gets too empty, she runs around meowing and chewing on plastic items to get my attention until either her food or water is topped off to her perfection.

She’s beautiful, so she gets away with making a few messes here and there.

I played hookie from work today…. kinda. It’s been wonderful. I gotta remember how refreshed I feel when I just walk away from it all now and then.

Since I had a bunch of chores to do, I went and engaged in some retail therapy. Little did I realize that I’d be buying more than I thought I would be.

My big ass-kicking barn burner of a computer quit on me yesterday. One minute I was enjoying music and working on a spreadsheet and the next, POOF! It was gone. I’m pretty sure it was a power supply, but I’ll know more later. In the meantime, I figured out how to get my work email on an older laptop and got the word program running so I could write my blog at least. Now the biggest choice is whether or not we go to have some sushi before we repair the big machine. I hooked up my phone to Pandora and bought an audio cable so I could run it to my stereo and have music. It’s glorious. It’s good to be a bit of a geeky girl.

It’s later, and it’s still good to be a geeky girl, but it wasn’t just my power supply. Grrr…

Seems there was a power spike through my phone/cable box that toasted my motherboard, CPU and power supply. I could smell something electric (boogie woogie woogie) when it went up, but I thought for sure it was just the power supply.  Seems like we’d only just put the thing back together again due to an operating system meltdown and now some hardware went kaput. S’ok.. just means it’s a trip to my local MikeRowe Center. (Yeah, I know it’s MicroCenter, but mmm mmm… Mike Rowe is much nicer to look at.)

When I was checking out from Tar-jay during my retail therapy, there was a little boy of about 3 in a cart. When the cashier rang up his father’s purchases, the dad gave the little boy his plastic and taught him how to swipe the card to make the payment. Somehow this didn’t seem to sit well with me, but maybe I’m being a bit silly about it.

I also used some gift cards I had at Borders. I know I always say it, but Borders gift cards are one of my most favorite gifts, although I might have to start asking for MikeRowe Center gift cards if my power full self keeps causing technology to have issues. I picked up a French Italian German Phrase book for my travels, (There have been hints that Paris could be in my future!) and I got a really good book to help me plot our course around Germany. It has some photos of the places I’ve wanted to go. The catch in my chest at the thought of being able to go and look at the Alps just tickles me pink and I get more and more excited as I watch the numbers decrease in my titles. # 4 and I spent a bit of time giggling on the couch this evening as we learned a few new naughty phrases. Who knew that Rick Steve’s travel phrases would include how to ask for a prostitute or let someone down gently by telling them you “have many diseases”?

Speaking of decreasing numbers, I didn’t measure up for Project 121, so I don’t really have a report for you on that front.

Tomorrow morning it’s back to work, but tonight I’m going to climb into bed and read my new travel books and dream of clinking steins with Hubby in a biergarten while gazing at the Alps.

Uh oh. My computer just turned itself off and refused to come back to life. I am thinking power supply, and hoping just that, but I will have to take a forced work break until I can be sure.

I guess its a good thing I got this phone when I did.

That’s my whole story right now. I’m living under a paper mountain.

Currently, I’m going through flight lists and passports to make sure 163 names match and they all have necessary paperwork turned in. Most of the day I dealt with budgets and putting together concert rosters.

Bess has been my constant companion, showing up on one level of the paper mountain or another.

I think she won’t feel happy until there is some kind of fluffy long kitty fur on every paper I have to deal with. The Bess seal of approval, as it were.