Category: Musings and Mutterings

As many of you may know, the East Coast has been swamped by rains and flooding. And what do people want most when it rains or floods? You guessed it, ice cream.

I was having a craving for a local restaurants faux ice cream. I’m not really sure what it is, except for yummy, but I think it’s actually ice milk. All that aside, my favorite ice cream-ish treat is a Heath Bar Freezee with extra Heath and no chocolate squirt. On Tuesday, my son was visiting and I thought that after all the rain we had been getting, it would be nice for him, his father and I to go get some ice cream. We piled into his car and headed over to the Tastee Diner. Just as we pulled up, a cloudburst was dumping torrential amounts of rain so we waited a moment in the car before we were going to go in. While we were sitting there, another car pulled up, apparently with the same thought of  frozen confections.

Oddly, a light caught my eye and I glanced into the restaurant to see a 60’s era heat lamp swinging wildly and a hand reaching up to steady it and then OOPS!!,  the lamp fell off leaving a heavy metal cable without it’s light. My first thought was “free meat” since this heat lamp typically sits over the hunk of roast beef.

The rain was beginning to let up enough that we could get out of our car and as my husband and son were climbing out, I watched in horror as the employee came into view (he must have been on a stepstool) and began to try and re-attach the light to the cable… while it was still a LIVE cable.

I’m sure you can see where this is going…..

While this tableau was unfolding, an elderly handicapped couple started to get out of their car. This was no easy feat as both of them seemed somehow incapacitated. I’m now having visions of the place bursting into flames and this couple getting cremated before they were ready! I began to tell them that maybe they didn’t want to go into the restaurant…

Moments after the employee began to fiddle with the cable, all the lights began to flicker and sparks and smoke started shooting out of the end of the cable.  Shocked (get it) by this, the employee dropped the lamp again. By this time, the cable began to shoot high powered jets of flame out of it’s broken end, and yet the elderly couple are still trundling towards the door as if nothing were happening. Again, I called out my alarm while I began to back up into the parking lot, my brave husband practically pressing his nose to the glass for a better look and my son laughing and edging away as well.

So how do you put out a dangling cable shooting high powered electrical jets of flame? Well of course you get your fire extinguisher and begin to try and spray it from a distance. Being a dangling cable however, this is kind of hit or miss. At this point the cable begins to burn in earnest and flames are beginning to lick up towards the ceiling. Thankfully, either someone thought to throw the breaker or the breaker went off by itself and the lights shut off……just as the elderly couple were reaching for the handle of the door.  What was their comment?

 “Huh, the light’s went out. Guess they are closed.”

The guy with the fire extinguisher was still shooting his propellant at the dangling wire and all was coming under control, but you would think that these people might have noticed the flame, the smoke, the haze of propellant in the restaurant, the very nervous woman calling to them in the parking lot (not even 10 feet away) or the two laughing men staring in through the glass.

Needless to say, we piled back into the car and headed down the street to Coldstone Creamery. We went in, stood in a line that never moved for about 10 minutes and decided to try the SuperFresh that was just across the parking lot for our ice cream. After pacing the ice cream aisle for 15 minutes (to which my husband commented that we could have been done over at Coldstone within that time) I decided to buy some little ice cream novelty called “Popables”. Let me warn you that these are the most heinous little excuses for ice cream you could ever create, so of course my husband ate all remaining 58 from a container of 60. 

By this time, I’m thinking that some higher power is warning me that I really DON’T want ice cream, but never being one to listen, my son took me to the grocery store right up the street from where I live, the whole time joking about how he was carting around  his parents during flash flooding with gas at 3.00 a gallon just to get ice cream from a store I could have walked to!

By now I know you are all in great suspense and concern over whether or not I got my dairy fix. Fear not!  For I did, in fact, get my yummies… after buying a container of coffee ice cream, a baggie of dark chocolate chips, a baggie of Heath crumbles AND some caramel topping…. my lactose intolerant self had a grand old time!  

 

I may not be as witty and clever with photo shop as my friend Jenny, but I guess I should let you know my side of the story and, ahem, camera. 

As reported in Jenny’s blog, we had missed our boat while on the ‘drunk bus’ and decided to go to M R Ducks while we waited for Frank and Libby to finish their jet ski adventure. (btw, Frank has decided that the definition of an adventure is any event that may result in your death.)

Now Jenny, as clever as she may be, is a bit shy so after she cautiously cased the joint for seats, I pointed out the rather noisy seats by the blender. They couldn’t have been too bad because we were served quickly! Obviously the drinks are pretty good here as Jenny quickly guzzled down her frozen beverage and proceeded to  serenade us while we waited for the band to start.

Her observation is correct as to why our blender seats were probably empty, but they were a great place to start in a crowded bar and as luck would have it, we did eventually jump to a table with a lovely view after watching the elderly couple who were occupying it like hawks. What she left out was that she eventually tossed them over the rail after waiting so long. I happened to snap this photo just as she had launched the old geezer.

As you can see, Jenny was quite happy with our “overthrow” of the elderly. We  eventually ate lunch while we watched the old man sink to the bottom as the old woman sang the song from “Titanic” and tossed him her necklace as a life raft.

After our drinks, we decided that the arcade was just the place for two tipsy blondes to go.  (It’s a guaranteed win if you take Jenny to play air hockey.) We were pretty evenly matched at bowling and ski ball.  Notice Jenny’s fierce look. It was her scare tactic. As if one look from her and all the pins will fall to the ground in fear.

Next we stumbled onto the boardwalk, (don’t let her fool you, she did try ‘Club Stumble’) and after giving some ‘cookie cutter girls’ an incredibly evil look, Jenny decided she’d pretend to be Jonah! She swore the whale was trying to swim away and she was losing her balance. I reminded her that the whale was concrete.

On the trip back to the condo, via the drunk bus, Jenny decided she needed to do some pull ups to work her triceps. She quit after one, claiming that she’d had enough exercise tossing the old couple into the brink and that she thought the whale was causing an allergic reaction and swelling her tongue. I think she’s just trying to lick Liberty.

We did eventually make the cruise to Assateague Island, but that’s the next blog entry.

 

This is my cat, Bessie. Although I use the term “my cat” she doesn’t really belong to anyone but herself. Bessie is 12 years old and recently I was told by the vet that I should take her home and love her for as long as she lasts. Who can ever say when the “time” is but I’m told she is borrowing it right now.

Bessie came to me 12 years ago in May with 5 of her siblings in a box. A friend who had been working in a junkyard happened to have a niggling feeling and opened up a dresser drawer moments before it was to be crushed, only to find a small , noisy,  wriggling bag of kittens. They couldn’t have been too old, because their eyes weren’t even open yet. Knowing I’m a sucker for anything that’s a baby, lost, orphaned or otherwise in need, he brought me this little bundle. I had NO idea how to take care of tiny kitties, let alone 6 of them.

I called a friend of mine who was a nurse midwife and who owned a small farm to find out what I needed to do.  She told me I’d have to feed all 6 of these squirming fuzzballs every two hours for the first week or so, clean them and massage them so that they would release urine (mom cats lick them when they are babies to stimulate release). With the tasks set and the knowledge that I may not be too successful (kitties are hard to keep alive and healthy when they are abandoned that small) I set myself to being a momma cat.  Every two hours my daughter and I would wrap little fuzzballs with claws in a dish towel and use an eye dropper to feed them formula. We had as much come out of their noses as went into their tummies.  I thought we would drown them for sure, but after losing one kittie the first night (he’d had his tail crushed before we got him so his chances were bleak) we managed to raise 5 little fluffs.

Our next task was to find our rapidly growing babies a new home. My children networked four of our little fuzzies into new homes when they were ready to go and we were left with one kitten, named Molly. Molly was an adorable calico that followed my daughter around like a puppy might. Soon, the kitties were ready and they each were picked up and taken to their new homes, except for one that had been named, Two Face.  Two Face’s prospective new family had found that they were going to have to move and couldn’t keep a new kitten. So the networking went on again and we found Two Face, now renamed Briar Rose, another home. As luck would have it, this new family ALSO changed their minds and said they couldn’t keep Briar Rose either. I took this as a sign and decided I needed to keep my fluffy calico friend with her sister and thus, she was renamed Bessie. Molly the short haired calico  and Bessie the fluffy calico, my two English country cats.

Bessie and Molly were a true delight. They played with each other, curled up with the family dog, Butch, and found new nooks and crannies to hide in. You were never sure if you were going to be able to get a tissue from the Kleenex box without finding the two of them curled up and snoozing intertwined inside of it. They came when called, always led my daughter to bed at night and slept in her bed.

Sadly, Molly began to show the signs of illness in late July a few years later. We had taken her to the vet and had bloodwork done to see what the problem was, but it was already too late. After taking the kids to the annual jaunt to the county fair, we came home to find Bessie running around the house meowing loudly. Poor Molly had passed away while we were gone. The vet said she had Feline Leukemia and we couldn’t have done anything for her.

About this time, my daughter was ready to move on in her life, and Bess, who had always favored me as her person, began to spend more and more time following me around and looking for love. She and I have a mutual understanding of one another, and anyone who knows me, knows my cat. She’s me in feline form. Unpredictable, fierce, lovey, fun and distant all at the same time.

Bessie has outlived her sister, the family dog, numerous other kitty strays and is now tolerating the new dog, Piper, who is 3. She’s even filled in when we didn’t have a dog as the protector. One evening she heard noises when someone was trying to break into our shed and she raced from window to window growling, then clawed at my bed and repeated her window growling until I got up and saw the intruders leaving the yard. She has taken care of me when I was sick, is always ready for a cuddle or a nap, waits for me in the front window when I leave and jumps on the screen and meows when I’m outside and out of sight from her. Sometimes I wonder who is the mom and who is the cat!

Now the vet tells me that she has breast cancer and although we did our best to remove all of it, it’s a very aggressive cancer for cats and that I should love her while I can.  I love my Bessie and I’m glad that whatever fates brought us together persisted in doing so. She’s my little lion and my tiny tiger and I’ll miss her more than can be imagined when she is gone.

I had  a very nice evening yesterday. Someone thought long and hard and remembered something that I enjoy very much and then planned an evening centered around what *I* like. That was very nice of them and I thank them.

I’m so used to being the organizer, the one that makes the choices and keeps everything going, the mom, the wife, the secretary blah blah blah…. and I’m much more comfortable and used to  being on the giving end of things then the receiving.  But every now and then someone will say something nice, or compliment me on something I’ve done and I tend to simply brush it aside as if it doesn’t really mean anything to me.  That is far from the truth. Forgive my silliness and inability to accept these things graciously.  I’m working on it! 🙂

I’m a very lucky gal to have so many supportive and loving people in my life. My husband, my children and my friends. I never quite understand why they are all there for *me*, but I need to stop once in a while and just absorb that they are and enjoy it. Whatever their reasons, I’m just so glad they are there.

So, a public thank you to everyone who has ever said a nice thing to me and then thought I didn’t hear them or accept the compliment. And a public thank you to everyone who has done something wonderful for me (anything done for me is wonderful…how nice to be thought of!!). It means everything to me.

Fluffy Bunnies Steal Barbie’s Sports Car…. film at 11:00

I’m warning you in advance. I had a freaky dream. Some readers may find the contents of this entry disturbing. Some readers of this entry may also decide that I’m disturbed! 🙂

I remember a few snippets of my dreams this morning. That doesn’t mean that they are any less disturbing.

Snippet One and Two are just variations of the same dream.

I was in a store in a town that was situated on a hill. (reminded me of Pittsburgh) I was doing some kind of project where I had to create an artistic something. I was using super glue to put together this *art* and I had placed a blue cylindrical object (looked the size of a pen) on top of something resembling a tube of suntan lotion.  As soon as the superglue, pen object and tube of whatever joined, the places where they were joined began to bubble as tho there were some kind of chemical reaction happening. The tube began to lose containment and the contents, a blue liquid that for some reason was highly toxic and burned the flesh, began to ooze out and onto the heavy ply board I was constructing this *art* on. For some reason, I was trying to stop the leakage, and brushed up against the goo, which burned my right hand between the thumb and pointer finger.  When I looked at my bubbling flesh, I realized that there was also some of the tube sticking to my hand and I knew I had to get it off. No one was in this store and I looked over and saw a bottle of Acetone (nail polish remover which does melt super glue) and decided to use that on my skin to get ride of the tube remnants. After grabbing the bottle I looked back at my hand and there was a red scar there. I went out of that store and across the street to a convenience store.

The convenience store  had a counter directly across from the door and on the left side a small chair (where one might play Keno or such) and on the right side, there was an alcove with two small benches and a video machine. I went into the alcove because my daughter, Libby, was there. I was sitting across from her, and I could see a guy sitting in the Keno chair and just the corner of the counter. There were windows behind the counter and chair, and it seemed to be getting dark. In walked a very tall man, wearing a black leather jacket that resembled a suit coat and a brown newsboy cap. He had someone with him but I couldn’t see the other guy and I couldn’t see more than the side of the tall mans face. He walked over to the guy sitting in the Keno chair, who was wearing a grey hoodie and looked kind of strung out. They started talking and I got a bad feeling. I looked at Libby who was staring at the tall guy. The tall man slapped the Keno guy and I knew we needed to hit the dirt. I pulled Libby down onto the floor with me while we heard the altercation continue and grow. I don’t remember anything they were saying but then we heard 2 gunshots and the guys leaving thru the door.  I was just hoping they didn’t notice us because I knew that Libby had gotten a clear view of the tall man’s face and could identify him. When we got up, the Keno guy and the store owner behind the counter were dead.

Snippet Two

Then the dream repeated itself from the time I walked into the convenience store, but this time when I tried to pull Libby down onto the ground, she fought me and made a bit of a scene. The tall guy noticed us after he had shot the other two, but still left. Libby and I waited a bit and then we left the store too. We were afraid the assailants would return. We walked out of the store and started down the hill. Somehow, Frank had joined us. The bad guys stepped out behind us from around the corner. Frank told us that  on the 10th step we needed to run. We did, and shots rang out.. I don’t remember if it was me or Frank who got shot and went down, but the dream changed there.

In the beginning of this (part?) of the dream, I thought I was watching a trailer for a horror movie, but then I realized I was witnessing the events, not viewing the events, if you know what I mean.  I was standing on a small hill, it was just going into sunset and it was  beginning to go black and blue all around. There was a thing that was about the color of the text I chose today to write in slightly to my right. This was a female entity. I use the word entity because I’m not sure what this thing was nor how to adequately describe it. She was mostly an oddly shaped bony face that was hovering just above a pool of inky black liquid. There was obviously more too her, but you couldn’t see it, just knew it was there. She did not look human, so face is a bit misleading, although she did have eyes, nose and mouth. No sharp fangs or threatening monstrous features except that she didn’t really have a rounded forehead and her head wasn’t really round, more that her face was flat.

In front of this creature were some other things, (but I never really got a clear view of them, just knew they were there) and a  young boy about 10-12 years old.  He was wearing denim blue pajama tops and pants. He was standing on one leg, with the other leg extended behind him, held by the female thing and the other creature things had each of his arms spread to each side. He had brown hair and was very frightened. The female entity began saying that she was going to “divide the male the way the cells divide, in thirds”.  This didn’t make sense to me because we all know that cells divide in twos, don’t we?  In any case, I knew this was not a good sign and I looked away… I heard the boy screaming and I heard tearing of fabric, but I didn’t hear what I thought I would and that was the sickening sound of bones breaking and joints popping. When I looked back, the boy’s limbs were stretched out but in a kind of cartoonish fashion, he was still in agony and pain, but no ripped flesh just long floppy limbs. He was still standing on his one normal sized leg, but now his clothes had torn and he was exposed. The female monster thing grabbed the boys’ genitals and ripped them off. She raised them to her mouth and when she did, they had changed in proportion to her size. She looked at me and she said something about her reproduction and then she bit the enlarged testicles in half, spewing their contents of some kind of black liquid when she bit into them and chewing the half in her mouth. (There was NOTHING sexual about this.. it was disturbing and disgusting and I wanted to wake up!) I remember thinking that I wanted to get out of my dream and I said something to that effect and she got indignant and enraged at my disbelief of her and then wanted to prove her power, so she began to raise up out of the pool of inky liquid and as she did I saw her flat face was attached to her body by a short column of bone and then what you would normally think of as where your shoulders would be was a huge round flat umbrella of bone with dips and ripples in the brownish, tan, red bone and then beneath the “shoulders” were what looked like thick black charred roots. They seemed to also be hard, like bone, and as she raised up, I turned my head to look towards wth setting sun and all across the land that I could see, these thick black charred roots began to sprout up through the earth and the water.  I was overwhelmed and I woke up.

Now, I didn’t drink before I went to sleep, I don’t do any drugs, so this wasn’t some wild peyote button dream, I didn’t read anything disturbing, I didn’t watch the news and I didn’t watch TV… so where in the heck would I get such an uncomfy kind of dream. In fact, my evening consisted of tapeing closed envelopes and putting labels on them for a mailing for work.

I’m sure I can’t disclose the actual names and places I’m going to talk about, so please bear with me.

I have the pleasure to work, yes I said pleasure and work in the same sentence, for a large well known university who has a very large musical branch. That is the branch where I work. I’m really low on the ladder, but my boss is awesome and the work she does with the students is incredible.

Some of the older students, about 100, will be performing with a large eastern seaboard city’s symphony orchestra and some combined adult chorus’. It is awesome to see these students, ages 9-17 perform in this well known concert hall. The piece they are performing is basically a 9/11 requiem. The kids have just about memorized this entire piece and as the adults are furiously turning pages, our kids just burst forth on cue with the most beautiful sound.

Tomorrow we rehearse with the orchestra. That’ll be different for them.

I should mention, that at the same time as the 100 students are rehearsing for this performance, we have about 16 more across the street at the Opera House, where they are performing in the opera La Boheme. Too cool.

I’m so glad I have this job!!

This is starting to get on my nerves. Never did I want my blog to be nothing but a dream journal, but I can’t seem to find anything more interesting than my freaky and exhausting dreams to write about at times. I had another odd dream last night, occurring yet again in my parent’s old house.  This time my mother was in it and boy was she mad.  My paternal grandmother was there too, she seemed to be on my side. My mother kept going on and on about a three legged table.  I kept looking at it and I saw 4 legs.  (This is the kind of folding tv tray table that’s already unstable as it is.) She kept insisting and so did I. This was a crowded dream. My grand daughters were there, a “cousin” (that doesn’t look like any of my real cousins) who kept running around and hitting me until I got ahold of what he was hitting me with which looked to be a broken umbrella of all things, and whacked him back a few times, and an “uncle” I did not recognize, that I ran to for protection. Then I woke up.

And IF any of you doubted my sanity before (muhahahaha) then I’ll give you this dream from the past. I had this one years ago and I never could link this to anything that was going on at the time. Heck, if I can find my old recordings I’ll tell you all about the one with the babies scrabbling in between the walls of an old house…. but I digress. Here is the grandaddy-of-them-all wierd dreams that I’ve had.

I was (C’mon people, you should know this by now) at my parents house. (I swear the place must have been on bad ground or something) I was in the upstairs bathroom which is situated in the back middle of the house with bedrooms on either side, leaning up against the the window (which looks into the side yard of the house and now that I think of it, close to the sump pump area). There were electronic surveillance devices all over the bathroom, which had been set up as a command post to  explore the paranormal, which the house had been designated as.  I was part of a team that was to go into the hall and descend down a ramp. We went out the bathroom door ( I think there were 3 or 4 of us) and the people monitoring in the bathroom called “lights out”. Simultaneously, I saw my surroundings turn red and black in the hall and I was still in the bathroom observing myself in the hall on the monitor which had gone to infrared and I could see myself in red and black there too.

My perspective returned to me in the hallway and I started descending the ramp. My team disappeared off to the sides and I was alone.  I went down the ramp. There was nothing special about the walls at this time. I remember I felt pushed to go that direction. I made a hairpin turn to the left and went down the second ramp. As I got closer to the bottom, a huge cavern came into view.  I stepped off the ramp, into the cavern and saw the following. The cavern was round. There was an ornate carving of an angel on each post of a low dark brown railing that was on either side of where a pulpit should have been. (The kind of railing you would kneel at during communion in a church). I don’t remember what was behind the railing.  Where the pulpit should have been was a webbed lawn chair. The lawn chair was colorful, with a lot of blues and greens in the webbing. Suspended from the caverns’  ceiling, directly above the lawnchair, was a rowboat. To the left of the left railing was a round bed with a mirror. The bedspread was red.

For some reason, I felt the need to sit in the lawn chair and recite the Lord’s Prayer. I began, “Our Father, who art in Heaven..” and at about this time I looked up to see that the rowboat had caught on fire and was getting ready to fall. I launched myself off the lawn chair and flung myself onto the bed face down to escape the burning rowboat which had crashed into the lawn chair I had just vacated. Suddenly, I felt the bed shift and a pressure on my back and then shoulders. I was being pinned to the bed by my shoulders. I looked up into the mirror and I saw a maniacal looking man in an orange top hat and orange tux with tails. He was looking at me and yelling, “Scream Hallelujiah!! Scream Hallelujiah” I managed to throw him off of me and began running up the first ramp. (Running in dreams isn’t always very productive!!) I felt/heard a low deep rumbling roiling up behind me, chasing me up the ramp. I made the hairpin turn and  the walls that had been empty before now had doors lining both sides. I was still “running” up the ramp, being forced from side to side, when I saw a woman leaning against one of the doors. It was Marilyn Monroe and she was leaning up against a door that had the number 62 or  67 on it, I couldn’t tell. She looked and me and said, “help me, please don’t leave me here.”  I just kept running. The ramp seemed much longer on the way up and I was having difficulty getting up it. The low rumbling thing was still approaching from behind, seemingly gaining on me. Every couple of doors, Marilyn would reappear and say the same thing to me, leaning on the same door.  I finally reached the top of the ramp, screaming, “Lights on! Lights on!” The bathroom door opened and I ran to the window where I had started.  The door was shut and I was the only one in the room, but that rumbling force I had felt was now laughing in a low voice and was on the other side of the door. The door began to bulge, as if the thing was going to push it in, but then abruptly I heard the noise receding and I looked out the bathroom window to the basement window on the my right and saw the red light coming from the window begin to subside and then go black.  I woke up!

I dreamed I talked to my dad on the phone. (Both of my parents have passed away) I was sitting in a very white room that was tiled with tiny 1×1 tiles and I was playing with the wall in front of me with my bare feet as I was chatting with my father. He was telling me he was on the 6th floor of a hotel, or wherever he was, and that he was drinking and watching Friends. I thought he meant the tv show, but after thinking about it, maybe not. Then he started asking me about how we had found out that my mom had cancer. (She died from lung cancer) I told him that my sister, Laura, had gone to fill a prescription for my mom and the pharmacist became apologetic and asking how mom was. Laura, not understanding why he was so concerned over a routine prescription, asked him what he meant and the pharmacist told her that this drug was something they gave patients who had really advanced stages of cancer.  (That’s not how we really found out) Dad thought that was ok and didn’t have much more to say.

Easter was nice here. It turned into a two day event. We hunted for eggs on Saturday and played with our toys and then had everyone over for brunch on Sunday.  It was really nice to have all my kids together. They are my everything.

We have them everywhere.  In our lives, in the lives of people we care for, at work, in material things; they’re everywhere!

So how do you make sure you keep the ones that pay you in happiness dividends and how do you “sell” the ones that underperform.  Since they are emotional investments, it’s not easy to just cut one out, and sometimes – just like it’s hard to find those extra few dollars to put in your monetary investments – it’s hard to find anything left in your soul to put into the pot. What is the dividing line?

I have a few places in my life that I’ve been investing in emotionally, and to tell you the truth, some of my investments just are not paying off. Let’s just say the brokerage fee is much too high. I’ve reduced my portfolio greatly in this investment, and I’ve diversified into some of it’s spin-off companies. But still, the parent company has to be dealt with. I created this parent company and then let it grow on it’s own, until it was ready to be an independent corporation. It grew rapidly and expanded early, diversifying into a few smaller offshoots. Frequently, this company has had management troubles. The board of directors just couldn’t agree on where they wanted the company to go. There has been fraud and embezzlement and scandal, yet the company is still standing, albeit barely. This company of mine is ripe for a takeover. I can see a pharmaceutical coming in and just wiping it out. Or my company may fall prey to cheap or illegally obtained labor, which will devastate an already shaky financial portfolio.  There is also the current threat of a hostile takeover of the only promising things my little company has produced, being the few off shoot diversifications it’s managed to hold together. All that being said, I just feel completely drained and nervous every time I get an update on the company’s’ prospectus. I can’t keep funneling my emotional (and financial) investments into this company, but it is nearly impossible to stop as well. So, I go swirling down in emotional and financial debt.

The other places I have emotional investments are doing fairly well. My E investment in myself has ALWAYS been low and I’m trying to fix that. I’m a firm believer that you can’t withdraw from your own E stores if you are already E bankrupt!!

Some of my other E investments are of a turbulent nature, up and confident and flourishing one day and then down and in need of attention the next.  Problem with that is,  I don’t always have the extra to give when those investments need it.  That doesn’t seem at all fair to those companies.

Maybe I need to fire my own board of directors or retire a few, as was suggested by a very wise advisor, and reassess my situation. I’m just so deeply committed to my current investment portfolio that I’m not sure which of these directors to let go.